Screaming Infidelities
by Rhiannon10
Summary: (Edited for little things no one probably noticed but bothered me) 1x2, 1x?, Duo POV, much angst within. Duo tried (and fails) to deal with Heero's infidelity.


Title: Screaming Infidelities  
  
Summary: Duo POV, 1x2, 1x?, suicide, bastardized Heero (gomen, Hee-chan!)  
  
Notes: Wow. I actually did angst that doesn't have a happy ending. I think I've pacified the angst demi-gods for now.  
  
Disclaimer, Claimer and Such: I don't own GW or the song, per usual. I do own the black baseball cap I'm wearing right now. It makes me look vaguely Duo-ish. if I were skinnier, shorter, had a three-foot long braid, violet- blue eyes and was a guy, then I'd be perfect. Then, of course, I'd need Deathscythe Hell Custom to go with the look. . . ::grins evilly::  
  
//I'm missing your bed, I never sleep  
  
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak  
  
And this bottle of beast is taking me home//  
  
I'm laying awake in my bed. I miss the one we used to share. It smelled like you- clean sheets, gunpowder and oranges. Mine is just. . . cold. Empty. You didn't stay here often enough for it to smell like you.  
  
I miss you so much. I never see you anymore. But what would I say to you if I did? "Hi, you're killing me slowly, how's the new boyfriend?" I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit for a moment before going into the kitchen. I grab a few beers from the refrigerator and return to the bedroom.  
  
//I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets  
  
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet  
  
Make sure I know who's taking you home//  
  
I wrap the sheets around me as I down half a beer. You're probably curled up next to him now. Are you telling him the same things you used to tell me, the whispered 'Ai Shiteru's in the dark? Probably. It's worse this way. I know who you're with, where you are. I know everything. You didn't even try to hide it. Why should you? The baka won't notice anything's changed.  
  
//I'm reading your note over again  
  
And there's not a word that I comprehend  
  
Except where you signed it "I love you always and forever"//  
  
I finish the beer and reach into my nightstand drawer. I pull out the note you left and read it for the thousandth time. I don't understand your reasons for leaving. The only thing that ever makes sense is the 'Ai Shiteru, Duo' at the end. I used to believe that. You told me so often, with such sincerity- how could I not believe you? I don't, now. You lied to me. For so long, I thought this was just a fling with him, that you'd come back.  
  
It's been seven months, Heero, why the hell aren't you home?  
  
//Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs  
  
And sit alone and wonder  
  
How you're making out//  
  
I flip on the radio and open another beer. The first song I hear is happy- this man's lover came back to him. I search the stations until I find a song fitting my mood. As I sip my beer, I wonder how you're doing. What you're doing, more specifically, but I decide to stay away from that line of thought. The idea of you and him- I stand abruptly and stalk into the kitchen, grabbing the rest of the beer. I'm going to need it.  
  
//But as for me  
  
I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone  
  
Making out//  
  
I finish off my third beer as the song ends, and one of your favorites begins to play. Angrily, I change the station. I wish I weren't here. I wish I could go anywhere else, just to get away from this pain. Maybe if I found someone, the pain would stop. . . Impossible. It's impossible to love two people at the same time.  
  
//I'm missing your laugh, how did it break?  
  
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?  
  
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending//  
  
I smile to myself, remembering your laugh. You have such a beautiful laugh, and an equally beautiful smile. You used them more around me, after the wars. You told me once that I helped make you human. So that's what I'm good for. Making you human, saving your soul, so you can love some else. So someone else can marvel at the way your eyes look when you're happy, when you're plotting something, when you get idealistic. Your eyes. . . beautiful eyes, they began to look fake, didn't they, when you started sleeping with him.  
  
//I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets  
  
And I am alone in my defeat  
  
I wish I knew you were safely at home//  
  
You couldn't keep up the charade for too long, could you. You had to choose- and I lost. I lost you, and along with you my heart, my soul, my reason to breathe. I want you to come home so much, to tell me it was a mistake, you'll never leave again. I'll take you back, I promise.  
  
//I'm missing your bed, I never sleep  
  
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak  
  
And this bottle of beast is taking me home//  
  
I look at the bottles on the floor. Four of them, and I don't feel drunk yet. Damnit. Alcohol doesn't help me forget, sleep doesn't help the pain, time doesn't help me get over you. I love you, Heero. Always.  
  
//Your hair, it's everywhere  
  
Screaming infidelities, are taking its wear//  
  
There are so many things that remind me of you. Your hair is still in the brush you always used when you were here. But more than that- it's the hundreds of little things you left. The extra clothes that still smell like you a little, the CDs you forgot here, the few photos you allowed yourself to be captured in.  
  
One of your guns, in the top drawer of the dresser.  
  
//Your hair, it's everywhere  
  
Screaming infidelities, are taking its wear//  
  
I carefully load the gun and click off the safety.  
  
You infidelity is killing me, Heero.  
  
Good-bye.  
  
A gunshot echoed throughout the small apartment, and the morning saw a young man, dead, his unbraided hair sticky with his blood, his face still stained with tears.  
  
//Your hair, it's everywhere  
  
Screaming infidelities, are taking its wear//  
  
CFEOSN: ::winces:: Sorry, Duo. Uhm, not really a hell of a lot I can say. except this: Reviews are like chocolate roses. Send a dozen today! Ryo Sen 


End file.
